Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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