Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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