Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
