Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
