Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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