I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just cropdusted the office
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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