I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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