im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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