i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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