I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
