STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
how drunk are you?
Several
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize