How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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