Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
