you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
