I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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