I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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