I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I believe in your delicious
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize