Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
