no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
