can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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