What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just googled if crying burns calories
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
