thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
