we have pet lesbian snakes
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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