he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize