For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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