After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
