I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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