9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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