Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
