OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
