the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
