Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
