if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
