porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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