hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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