We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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