Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
