Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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