Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
