...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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