are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
