i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
