Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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