So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
