guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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