Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
