Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I need a burrito and a hug.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
