do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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