VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
porn star boner night. come get it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
