If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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