eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
