i may or may not be watching the land before time
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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