Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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