now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
