I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
