Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
