She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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