she was so not down for the gang bang
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We had to coat check the pizza.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
