I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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